The cheesiest play dates

The cheesiest play dates

Over the last decade or so, the level of typing in video games has increased dramatically. Of course, there has always been good writing in games, you just needed to know where to look. But do you know what kind of writing did not hide? The cheesy guy!

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That’s right, for decades the medium was packed with cheddar-level dialogue. But not all cutesy lines are the same. A few distinguished themselves among their peers. It’s worth noting that not all of these lines are misspelled, some of them are intentionally corny, but whether intentionally or not, all of these famous quotes deserve a place in the Parmesan pantheon.


10 Mortal Kombat 2 – Where Brutal Murder Meets Bro-Talk

Mortal Kombat, toast!“Toasts!”

If you’ve played more than a minute of Mortal Kombat, then you know the incredibly satisfying feeling of landing an uppercut on your opponent. Everything from the visceral sound of your fist slamming into your enemy’s jaw, to the sight of his body flying ten feet in the air, to the iconic pools of blood he causes.

So what quote should accompany this act of brutality? Probably something creepy and foreboding from Shao Kahn, like the classic “Fatality” sound bite, right? Sure, you could go in that direction, but what if we had a strange man in a t-shirt who appears in the corner of the screen and says “Toasty” in a very high-pitched voice? Yes, that’s the ticket!

9 Resident Evil 4 – Leon is clearly moonlighting as a standup

Resident Evil Monsters Salazar“Does your right hand come off?”

For those unfamiliar, the pick “Does your right hand come off?” It occurs when Salazar from Resident Evil 4 tells Leon that he has sent his right hand to get rid of him. Leon pounced on that slip by delivering this absolute classic line. You got it, Leon.

Of course, this isn’t the only one-liner from the veteran zombie slayer. If you like that one, there’s more where he came from. Leon S. Kennedy: Police Officer, Bodyguard to the President, and Traveling to a Comedy Club Near You!

8 Street Fighter 2 – Guile doesn’t understand what a functional family looks like

“Go home and be a family man”

Is there a more iconic slam in Street Fighter history than this one? It’s hard to say. It’s the kind of insult that makes you twist your head and raise your eyebrows. It’s honestly weirder than anything else, but it’s also endlessly quotable and incredibly memorable.

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Though we have to say, Guile, you can still be a family man even if do win fights. Like, canonically, your have a family, Guile. By the way, it seems like it’s probably not a coincidence that one of her daughter’s canon dislikes is martial arts. Maybe YOUR I should have gone home and been a family man, Guile.

7 Shadows Of The Damned – A game for adults made by adults (with the sensitivity of a child)

Shadow of the damned, big boner“Taste my big boner”

Here at TheGamer we like to see ourselves as respectable and thoughtful individuals. But come on, you have to respect how childish this line is, right? You see, his weapon is called the “Big Boner”, so it’s a play on words. Do you understand? DO YOU GET IT?!!?

That’s something you have to give Suda51, he’s very happy to take this kind of teen punk rock approach to schlock. In an era where games are getting more refined and the writers who write games are of higher quality, there’s a charming absurdity that games are beginning to lack. But not Suda51, he leans towards her. And you know what? God bless you for that! We love how unassuming he is when it comes to this sort of thing. Shine, cheesy diamond.

6 Yakuza 2 – When masculinity goes off the rails… gloriously

“A real man… should be a bit stupid”

This is a line spoken by Yakuza 2’s main antagonist: Ryuji Goda. Actually, it’s not just any line, it’s one of the fundamental lines of the game. For those unfamiliar, the Yakuza series is full of cheesy, ridiculous, silly, and absurd lines of dialogue.

However, as corny as these lines are, they somehow get your blood pumping and manage to bring the drama (though should just roll your eyes). It’s all very confusing. But at the end of the day, maybe a truly great date… I should be a little stupid. We have to say, as corny as this line is, and it is very cheesy, we love it.

5 Castlevania: Symphony of the Night – Yaaas! Kill, queen!

“What is a man? Just a miserable bunch of secrets!”

You had to know that this famous quote from Castlevania was going to be here. This is one of the most remarkable dialogue exchanges that has ever existed. Honestly, this list could have gotten multiple lines out of this one exchange. Yet while this exchange is delightfully cheesy, it also packs a punch.

I mean, is the man wrong? Also, you have to love Michael Guinn’s installment of Dracula. It just exudes personality. He chews up the scenery and, in the process, completely steals every scene he appears in.

4 The Secret of Monkey Island: No One Can Design a Diss Like Guybrush Threepwood

Secret of Monkey Island, Sword Fighting Training“How appropriate, you fight like a cow.”

See, just because a line is corny doesn’t mean it’s not also brilliant. One of the best examples of this is The Secret Of Monkey Island, which is, from top to bottom, loaded with absolutely classic lines. That goes double for all the insulting sword fighting barbs.

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Because as a big dad joke, the best insult sword fighting lines absolutely deserve a groan and a hidden sense of admiration. What if you don’t agree? Well, then you fight like a dairy farmer!

3 Resident Evil – Is that what you say when someone was almost horribly killed?

“You almost turned into a Jill sandwich!”

Just remember folks, when your co-worker almost gets crushed to death by a horrible contraption designed to murder people, that’s the time to hit ’em with a dad joke. This line is absolutely legendary and for good reason. Quite simply, it will never stop being fun. Even Capcom likes to tease him from time to time with some callbacks.

resident evil is full with deliciously cheesy dialogue. It’s such a magical juxtaposition. For one thing, this game has atmosphere for days. The original title is still really quite a creepy game, even to this day. But on the other side of the coin, you have the Jill Sandwich line (and many more like it). Never before has whiplash been so much fun!

two Final Fantasy 4 – Create memes before memes existed

Final Fantasy 4 Spoony Bard“You Spoony Bard!”

Long before the age of memes took hold of us all (before the dark days), Telah dropped this classic line in Final Fantasy 4. And you know what? Something about this utensil-based insult struck a chord with people. Because, to this day, we have people referencing the line of the spoon bard. That’s thirty years of relevance!

The most notable speeches, delivered by some of the world’s most famous people, have had less impact than this barb delivered by a cunning old wizard. You could say this line is so delightfully cheesy that it’s… wait for it… unattainable.

1 Devil May Cry – The devil’s voice may break

“I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with light”

oh man. What a legendary take. Not only is this line 100% gouda, but there’s a soft piano playing in the background as you shout. Oh, and the delivery? Not only is it delightfully melodramatic, but Reuben Langdon’s voice breaks mid-delivery. What a time to hit puberty!

It goes without saying that this line is absolute gold and untouchable. We don’t even know what they would do if they ever made a new version of Devil May Cry, because we’re all going to protest in the streets if this line isn’t presented exactly as it was in the original. Don’t mess with perfection!

Next: The Most Famous Video Game Quotes Of All Time

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